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My last first date

twylyght

By twylyght,
in Huddle Lounge

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twylyght Rookie

twylyght

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I've had one, and it was wonderful.  I've been on a few dates before that, and they were mostly good.  However, I knew that it wasn't meant to be.  I had met some wonderful people along the way, but I can only look back now and know that it simply wasn't a fit.
 
For a long time, I was a very broken man.  I had resigned myself to knowing that whatever life had for me, a life with my other half was just not in the cards.  If she was out there, I was beyond repairing for that to be possible.  
 
My life was good though.  I had my my son, my family, and my friends.  I had a job that many on the planet would kill to have (though there was more than enough that considered it to be hell on earth for lack of experience for what a 3rd world life would have to offer).  Given all the blessings in my life, I was beyond fortunate.  If this was to be my life, then I would consider myself lucky.
 
It was a couple of Augusts ago that fate decided to prod me in a direction I never expected.  It was the night before my birthday.  The woman I had dated a couple times offered to take me to dinner.  It was very gracious, and we had a cordial time at PF Chang's in Raleigh.  All done and after parting ways following the meal, I decided to stop at the Wal-Mart in Zebulon to look for a part for my computer for a self-birthday present.  It was there that I blacked out.
 
When I woke up, I was on a ventilator in the neurological ICU a couple days later.  When I passed out, I cracked my skull on the floor hard enough to rupture a vein in my noggin.  Apparently when people tried to help me, I fell and hit my head again.  I have no recollection of any of this to this day.  All I know is that my parents got a call from the hospital clergy telling them to come quickly.  It pains me to this day knowing that they had to make that horrible 4 hour drive not knowing what was happening.
 
The coming weeks and months had me recovering to varying degrees in various facets.  In the emotional department, I had decided to give it one last go on eharmony.com.  I reviewed literally HUNDREDS of profiles and rejected all but three.  One of those was iffy at best, and one stood out.  I was still skeptical about how people portray themselves to be online and then failing to reconcile with who they are in real life.  Of those that posed the possibility of being geniune, only these three seemed possible for having chemistry/connection for me.
 
In this process, the one lady that stood out CONTACTED ME.  I was immediately guarded as this had become a natural reaction to things that were "too good to be true".  After some deliberation and initial communication outside eharmony, we decided to meet.
 
As is normal for me, I arrived early to scope out the place that I had suggested.  As it turned out, this particular restaurant was rented out for the evening to a group enjoying their merriment.  I patiently waited outside and struggled to wrestle down the anxiety and anticipation of meeting this woman.  Fear of disappointment.  Fear of disillusionment.  Fear of letting my hopes overrule my head with seeing this lady for who she is rather than who I wanted her to me.  
 
When Theresa walked up, the attraction was immediate and compelling.  She had a smile that was endearing to melt a heart that had been hardened for the purpose of survival.  In what I have come to appreciate is her usual grace, we ditched the plan of the current venue in favor of a known quanitity.  She knew of an italian restaurant where she was familiar with the owner.  The more she spoke, the more beautiful came to be.  As close as we were, I wanted to be closer still.  I felt like I could finally be not just be parts of myself, but all of myself with this lady.
 
It was a first date that neither of us wanted to end.  In a way, it never did.  I'm still on my first date with Theresa, and still finding her more beautiful every day that she'll have me.
 
I love this woman in a way I had never thought possible.  God has been better to me than I deserve.  This Saturday, I will have the honor and privilege of marrying my love to continue my last first date.
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