Panthers V.S. LA Rams - 5 Fearless Predictions

[Saca312]

This Sunday, the Panthers face the LA Rams. The Panthers hope to continue their momentum coming into this game, after soundly defeating the Cardinals last week, sacking Palmer a staggering total of 8 times. The Rams hope to start their own engine for the rest of the season by coming off with a victory after their bye, and disappointing loss to the Giants in London. 

So, what should you expect this Sunday? Well, here are 5 things I personally predict will happen.

1. Case Keenum Will Be Sacked At Least 5 Times

First of all, Case Keenum is basically your girl on her period. She'll have her good moments, then completely melt down when things look completely fine. He's about as inconsistent as it gets. And it's not helping that his offensive line is basically Mike Remmers x5. So, what happens when that said QB and offensive line meets up with a Carolina front containing KK and Short, with the best LBs in the league, coming off an 8 sack game?

This gif sums it up:

 

Keenum orders a KK and Star sandwich from Cam's food truck, and gets exactly what is ordered. 

He'll get sacked 5 times by an assortment of big, angry, black cats. He won't know what hit him.

After this game, IHOP comes up with a new menu item: The Case Keenum Pancake Supreme.

Bet on it.

2. Todd Gurley Won't Rush For More than 40 yards

What happens when you're a superstar surrounded by a bunch of trash cans?

Well, you get Todd Gurley

He's the only reason the Rams offense is worth mentioning, because he has the skill to absolutely demolish anyone. He's a beast, but he's surrounded by sloths. He won't be doing anything against the 3rd ranked run defense in the league (Yes, we actually have a bright spot in that area). His offensive line is your kid's stale Halloween candy you tried stealing last night. 

Wes Horton's words will prove prophetic, and Gurley will be a non-factor.

I mean really do you expect him to go from 10-10000000000 like Steve Smith when triggered? Only Smitty could do that, no one else has his type of mojo.

3. Cam Newton breaks out against a tough defense and gets 300+ yards passing; 3 passing TDs, 2 rushing TDs, 100 rushing yards

No, I'm not high. Yes, I just rewatched the NFC divisional and championship from last year. Yes, I just took a poo, and it was quite refreshing.

Anyhow, Cam Newton brings out his suitcase and begins his argument for MVP against the Rams. He breaks out and proves why he's better than any QB currently standing upright in this league in one game.

He shows how he's a threat as a passer; shows how he's a threat as a runner; shows how he's the toughest, elusive, and most incredible guy in the league. 

Most talk of him whining will be diluted to mere wisps of delusions as everyone realizes this is a true NFL player they're dealing with, and he sure as hell isn't playing around.

Cam Newton comes back on fire, and makes the LA Rams defense look like the JAGS. Panthers coming out pounding, ready to get that trophy for Sam Mill's legacy.

4. James Bradberry Will Get A Pick Six

What happens when you pair an MVP All-Pro HOF G.O.A.T. Punter in Andy Lee, with a Panther Pass Rush that looks like the 2015 juggernaut going against the Rams OLine?

You turn Keenum into a pick machine, and who takes advantage?

Andy Lee does another one of his amazing, MVP G.O.A.T. punts and pins the Rams down at the 1 yard line. Snap is taken, Keenum poos his pants when he sees KK and Star coming straight at him then throws up the football while becoming IHOPs new menu item. And guess who will be there to scoop up a bite?

James Bradberry comes up, snags it, and then returns it for a pick six. 

Also, James Bradberry will hold whoever he's covering to 30 yards or less, and Keenum will find it wise to not through it to #24.

Our CB group begins to look like the promised stronghold we hoped it'll turn out to be really early.

And last but not least...

5. The Panthers Win: 38-10

Panthers come out with a huge lead in the early run, with Cam, Stew, and Ginn setting the tone with tough runs in the beginning then a strong TD pass to speedy Ginn.

Our defense keeps their offense a non-factor, as everyone realizes our defense was not a fluke against the Cardinals, while Cam carves the Rams very talented defense in the early run.

The Panthers will get a few head turns from this game, but the media will keep jerking off to Dak Prescott and Matt Poo-Stain Ryan, to the Panthers advantage. The Panthers are kept under the radar, and then by the time the league realizes what's happening, it's too late.

Panthers pave the road to Superbowl 51 with a convincing win here, and I'll be ordering my first Keenum Supreme from IHOP first thing Monday morning.

 

[t96]

Don't see any way Cam gets 400 total yards and 5 TDs. To put up those numbers we'd have to be in a shootout, and that won't happen in LA. I'd guess 225 passing yards, about 40 rushing and maybe 2-3 total TDs.

[The Question]

Thank you. Even if it the season doesn't go that way I appreciate this.


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[PhillyB]

righteous 

[iamhubby1]

I like it. Great job. Clap Clap Clap.

 

No really. I liked it. I really did.

[iamhubby1]

1 hour ago, thomas96 said:

Don't see any way Cam gets 400 total yards and 5 TDs. To put up those numbers we'd have to be in a shootout, and that won't happen in LA. I'd guess 225 passing yards, about 40 rushing and maybe 2-3 total TDs.

 

Why not? What's so outrageous about those numbers? 5 TD is only 35 points. We can do that when we play well.

 

Now I do agree that 100yds rushing seems a stretch, but Cam has done that before. So it is also within the realm of possibilities.

 

Why you gotta jump right in and contradict the OP like that?  No, nice job dude, but...just a, sorry dude, you are too high.

[cardiackat88.]

Pretty easy to have the third ranked rush defense when no one has to run on you, and can pass for 500 yards...

[uncfan888]

Great post

[PandaPancake]

That's an impressive mustache.

 

[Randolph Panther]

Where do you see that the Rams are favored by -5.  Everything I see has Carolina at -2 to -3.

[!stUp]

 

LA Wins?

Carolina 27

Goats     17