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Draft O-Line: An ode to belly's and man tits


SCP

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A joyous day

Nipple Shorts has us guessing

Which way do we go

What position do we pick

Some say draft a playmaker

He runs the 40 lightning quick

Speed and hands that make grown men fap

Fug that poo it could be a trap

Speed, hands, and quicks don't mean poo

Without a 360 pound athletic tub of goo

It all starts up front with the fatties

The guys that keep their shirts on in the pool

TDs, rushing yards, passing records you fool!

All wishful thinking if there are no blocks

No running lanes or time for Cam to throw rocks

You gonna trust Bell on that blind side?

I don't care if Jerry Rice is out wide

Ring the bell Cam will say

I can't avoid 8 defenders in my face

All these Steeler fans in BofA fug this place

I want a guy who believes BoJang's is healthy

Somebody to prtotect Cam so he can get wealthy

We need some real men that can dominate poo

Not some project who was mediocre in D2

So gather round and circle jerk to the next great set of wheels

But with our oline none of that poo will matter

At least that's my feels

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Took a dump in Lowe's last weekend. Gorgeous bathroom and I thought of you the whole time I was punishing the porcelain.

Lowe's does have gorgeous bathrooms. But I prefer taking a poo in Home Depot because that way I know that in some way my poo is associated with Arthur Blank

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    • Didn't  see this posted (since 2023) but since folks have been posting that you can't judge a draft class for three years (a ridiculous take), I thought I'd post this to see what people thought about the 2023 draft. Unfortunately this may not be the most interesting class to do this with but I do quite like retrospective draft grades. Would appreciate other's takes on this (and other recent) draft classes.   1(1) - Bryce Young QB: I am a bigger Bryce Young apologist than most (maybe all). I like the kid. But there is no way around it: This was a terrible pick. If he had been picked in the 4th or even the 3rd round I would feel pretty good about it. But this was the first overall pick that we gave up two firsts, our best offensive player to get.  GRADE: C -    2(39) - Jonathan Mingo WR: not much to say here here. He was here for two years. His yards per catch are on par with Bryce's yards per pass. Rough stuff. To date he has still never scored a touchdown in the NFL GRADE: F   3(80) - DJ Johnson OLB: a pick I hated as soon as it happened and an example of why the premise of this thread is honestly dumb. This was a bad pick when it happened. Most people knew it.  Then came training camp and he did not look good. Then came the preseason which confirmed what we saw in TC. Then came the season which confirmed what we saw in preseason. To date, he has half a sack in his career. GRADE: F 4 (114) Chandlers Zavala G: Honestly the best pick of this draft which really speaks to how awful this draft is. Other than Bryce, the only pick still on the team. He is mostly average or below average depth which in round 4 is not terrible. But he had a pff score of 43.5 and though I think people have unrealistic expectations for draft picks, I still would want a little more from a fourth round pick GRADE: C+   5 (145) - Jammie Robinson S: I liked the pick when it happened but ended up being a disappointment. He logged 1 tackle with the falcons last year and not enough snaps to get a grade on PFF.  GRADE: F OVERALL DRAFT GRADE: F  
    • You gonna make me post Stank before every game?  I kid, I kid. 
    • Final Avs 9 Wild 6. Defense never entered the building lol.
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