Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

The Seahawks are now ON NOTICE!

Zod

By Zod,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

Zod Grand Master

Zod

Posted
Posted

LISTEN UP SEATTLE! YOU ARE NOW ON NOTICE!!

 

 

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

 

I have come back to you now in your hour of greatest need. With me I have brought wisdom, experience, and an industrial sized jar of lube. Now line up boys, and hold on to your taints, its about to get real.

 

First off.... Seattle. The softest most ridiculously pussified city in the entire country. A city so politically correct and lame I bet the mayor pardons a tofu turkey on Thanksgiving to please PeTA! hahaha.... wait, what? That actually happened? The Fug?

 

turkey.jpg

 

Meanwhile, in Charlotte, some residents choose not to pardon their turkey the old fashioned way... like the freaking founding fathers did.

 

D-Will.jpg

 

 

 

This week's playoff match up is against the always overrated Seattle Seahawks.  Seattle is known for it's grunge music, strong coffee, and being home to the bandwagonest fans in the entire NFL. In 2011 the Seahawks had ZERO NFL player jersey sales in the top 50. In 2013, Russell Wilson was the #1 ranked jersey.

 

Holy poo, that is a whole lot of people needing a Seahawks jersey fast. Fuggin Pathetic. 

 

The Seahawks have all the team components that the public adores. The white haired coach, ready to dish out worldly advice. The cute little guy, with a wholesome attitude and dimples. The older brother, street wise with a little more of an edge. And who could forget the long haired Hollywood type, the prima donna always craving attention. 

 

Put it together, and it could be an 80's sitcom for christ sakes.

 

 

seahawks-strokes.jpg

 

 

 

 

The Panthers are coming, Seattle. And they are bringing hell with them.

 

What will you do when the man beast Norwell mauls the face of your vaunted defensive line?

 

What will you do when Jonathan Stewart carves up your linebackers?

 

What will you do when Mike Shula calls a bubble screen to Brenton Bersin on 3rd and 10?

 

 

I'll tell you what you will do. You will sit there in your hipster trousers and take it... balls deep.

 

And then, when Luke Kuechly grabs yet another interception, when Josh Norman completely shuts down one of those receivers you have on your roster sorry their names escape me, you will begin to cry real tears that will drip from your ironic mustache.

 

And finally, when the Panthers have the lead and completely shut their own offense down allowing the Seahawks back in the game ... you will know what Panthers football is all about.... and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it.

 

 

Panthers 13

SeaHawks - 10

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • cranky
      2027: Sharing my thoughts on the cap without a lotta research

      By cranky · Posted

      I can't help but think that you are equating physical attributes alone with wins. I don't subscribe to that thought. No one will argue that Young has a strong arm, but he makes up for it in other ways. The real limitation for him is he needs good route runners with great hands. That's why Young was so good at the end of the 24 season. Thielen and Coker were perfect receivers for him and he had his best games with them. Not having them to start the 25 season hurt. Look at the first 10 games in 25 with a rookie receiver and no Coker and then look at the final 7 games with a more experienced rookie and Coker back and there is a telling difference in Young's performance. Prior to week 10, Young had 1 game with a QB rating above 100, 2 games with a rating above 90 and 6 games with a rating below 90. In the last 7 games with Coker back, Young had 3 games with a QB rating above 100, 2 games with a rating above 90 and only 2 games with a rating below 90. The tools a QB has to work with matter more than their arm strength.  To go back to Darnold and Stafford, yes they both have great arm strength but neither had much success with that alone. As I already pointed out, Stafford, even with a canon for an arm, only had 4 winning seasons in his first 12 years. It was only when he went to the right environment that he had true success.
    • Jens
      Bryce Young 5th year option exercised

      By Jens · Posted

      One more wasted year! ☹️
    • tukafan21
      Report: Panthers great Luke Kuechly being eyed for big TV job

      By tukafan21 · Posted

      I don't love this role for him if I'm being totally honest The pregame show is much more flash than substance and doesn't seem like the right fit for what Luke would bring to the table, and that's his vision of the game. I'd like to see him do something where it more involves him breaking down film and explaining what he's seeing out there, as he sees the game in a way very few ever have.
×
×
  • Create New...