Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

White Trash Bash: The Mile High Reckoning Edition


Seltzer

Recommended Posts

Save a small speed bump in the filthy bowels of the Georgia Dome, the magical journey of the 2015 Carolina Panthers continued unabated towards Levi's Stadium and the Ultimate Glory of Super Bowl 50.  We had conquered the source of so many close defeats in years past by beating Russell Wilson's God Squad not once, but twice, and then exorcised one of our oldest demons by destroying Arizona in the NFC Championship and giving the meltdown curse of Jake Delhomme another soul to inhabit in Carson Palmer.

russell.jpg  Image result for carson palmer nfc championship

Then in 3 short hours the greatest ephemeral buzz of my sports life faded into a hangover that has taken months to shake.  Like many of my fellow Panthers brethren, I have not been able to endure rewatching even a single play from the Super Bowl.  The worst of the images are seared in my mind, like a drunk and horny Rex Ryan let loose in a pedicure salon. 

And now rather than reward us with an Opening Weekend home game, the NFL is sending us to the remote lily-white outpost of Denver, CO.  A city that is literally a plane trip away from other civilization.  A city with demographic diversity on par with Iceland.  A city whose mayor and state whose governor were KKK members as late as 1925.

  • Where the only thing brown you'll find is the grass and landscape workers

Image result for denver hispanic landscaping

  • Where the dry air will have your lips as crackly and dry as Hillary Clinton's hooha.

Image result for hillary clinton drugs

  • Where the Kum & Go is literally a place where you can score a hooker and some gas station nachos to celebrate afterwards.  

Image result for kum and go ejaculate and evacuate

  • Where the city prides itself on the nickname "Menver"

menver

a nickname for the city of denver, because men outnumber women drastically...

dude 1: you guys wanna hit up denver this summer?

dude 2: you mean menver? f*ck no!

 

#denver #menver #sausage #sausagefest #cock #balls #dudes #fest #colorado

 

Image result for gay denver broncos

And yes, Robin Williams is absolutely playing Mork the gay Denver Broncos fan there 

  • Where the White Trash Bash is celebrated without irony

Image result for white trash bash denver

And the birthplace of the Denver Broncos, a franchise whose General Manager and former QB is literally morphing into the mascot before our very eyes.

Image result for john elway horse teeth

Ah, the Denver Broncos

  • The place where John Fox went to die and then was resurrected by The Golden Calf of Bristol.

Image result for john fox broncos

  • A fan based whose Wonder-Bread hued constitutes embraced Tebowmania faster than the KKK embraced Donald Trump

Image result for tebowing meme

  • A place where the thin-air caused  Peyton Manning HGH-related forehead growth more pronounced than Barry Bonds

Image result for peyton manning forehead

Well, here's a little truth I'm going to drop on you about the 2016 Carolina Panthers...  Last year is finally in the past, and the Mile High Day of Reckoning is nigh..

The only White Trash Bash left on the schedule for Denver happens tonight!!

  •  Aquib Talib is going to learn real fast that KB ain't nothing to eff with.  

Image result for kelvin benjamin touchdown

  • Wade Phillips is going to learn his cute little blue dog/ green dog blitz BS isn't going to work without Danny Trevathan & Malik Jackson and a healthy Andrew Norwell & Trai Turner.  Remmers is not going to be left out to dry again.

Image result for wade phillips dumb

  • KK Short & Kony Ealy are going to introduce Trevor Semian to the Mile High turf early & often.

Image result for kawann short

  • TD & Luke are going to shut down CJ Anderson and make life easy for our secondary.

Image result for thomas davis luke kuechly

  • And Cam Newton is going to show the world why he is the reigning MVP and the most dynamic QB threat of all time.

Image result for cam newton fire

  • Carolina Panthers 23, Orange Muff 16

PS- I will never be able to take the great SCP's place, but we can't start the season without a thread like this...

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lived her for 10 years and was really hoping to go to this game but tickets were insane. Really wished that this would've been later in the season. Fans are still on cloud nine from their SB win and hopeful. I don't think it's sunk into many of then yet that they're probably gonna struggle this year. Tickets would've been much easier to come by if this game was on the second half of the schedule. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, LinvilleGorge said:

Lived her for 10 years and was really hoping to go to this game but tickets were insane. Really wished that this would've been later in the season. Fans are still on cloud nine from their SB win and hopeful. I don't think it's sunk into many of then yet that they're probably gonna struggle this year. Tickets would've been much easier to come by if this game was on the second half of the schedule. 

Tickets are available for $130-150ish. Price dropped a lot this week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • If you think the NFL or NBA are worried about lawsuits or something like officiating scandals bringing down their empires, I think you're giving them way too much credit.  Go watch the documentary on Tim Donaghy in the NBA and who was involved and what he did.  One of the guys he worked with is still one of the league's top trusted officials, especially for playoff games.  IIRC, they have records showing he was the person Donaghy exchanged phone calls with the most during his time fixing games.  And his reputation is beyond horrible...  but he's untouchable.  I also encourage you to go watch DeMaurice Smith's Breakfast Club interview.  He laid out how for fans, we just know these organizations as a singular, public entity - like THE Carolina Panthers, or THE Dallas Cowboys- but, in actuality, he said that is the public-facing identity of an umbrella company comprised of countless smaller businesses and LLCs.  He is tasked with trying to audit their books, and he said these organizations are structured in such a way that even HE can't ever know what they truly make in a year.  It's impossible.  And now, this is just me speculating on top of that, but you think the league's themselves are structured similarly?  They are untouchable.  IIRC, they are recognized legally as "entertainment" organizations, thus protecting themselves in cases where integrity would come into question.  They are protected, layer, behind layer, behind layer.  Betting works because there is some degree of control that ensures the house wins more than it loses, by a lot.  The short of it is, "Give them bread and circuses" and all that jazz.  These leagues operate with total impunity.  Again, it's not just because I'm a Panthers fan, but even if I wasn't and I watched Superbowl 50 without a dog in the fight I would walk away feeling like that outcome was controlled and influenced HEAVILY to where the Panthers were not given a level playing field.  The same poo happens every Sunday to teams playing those blue blood franchises and ones with intriguing storylines. 
    • This Chuba isn't getting traded, but Rico very well could be in a few weeks if he keeps playing well in a tandem backfield with Chuba also playing well. I think we'd end up going with a two headed monster in that case, but with Rico being on a one year deal, it does open up the possibility of a contending team offering up a decent pick for him.  Depending on the recovery of Hampton, I could see someone like the Chargers giving us a 4th for him if they think he could put them over the top, he would fit nicely in a Harbaugh system I think. If it comes to that, we need to make that trade, as I can't see any way we re-sign Rico with all our other needs and getting Brooks back too.  And he's not going to get a contract big enough to get us any comp picks in return, especially if/when we sign a FA or two ourselves.  So if we're not going to bring him back, the prudent decision would really be to get a draft pick for him at the deadline.
    • It's all about what they do at QB. It's clear the rest of the roster is improving. If they commit long term to Young because he's being carried to wins then we're fuged. I think that's a separate issue to finally being competitive again.  There's no QB in this Draft that's going to ride in on his white horse on day one and save us, so we absolutely shouldn't be playing for Draft position. 
×
×
  • Create New...