Saints Versus Panthers, Tankers Version

[Green-Ghost]

I posted this already in a tread. I just wanted to share with everyone. I apologize in advance if it is not good. This is what a typical game may sound like if both sides attempt to Tank….  I thought we could use a good laugh to a disappointing season.

Announcer one - “we have kick off.” The ball goes into the end zone and will come out at the 20 yard line. Announcer number two - “it looks like the Saints are bringing in a new quarterback”. #2 - #1 “I don’t recognize the quarterback do you, Jim?” #1-“I haven’t seen this person before Tom.” #2-“it looks like their public relations man in a saints uniform.”

#1-“ first down and 10 yards to go from the 20. #2-“ the quarterback is Marion orange, he is the public relations guy for the Saints”. #1-“ Marion, Takes the snap and he’s running…. In the wrong direction.” #2-“ well… he has plenty of room to run and I don’t think he has to worry about any Tackle”. 

#1-“ Marion has made it to his own endzone. All the Panthers need to do is tackle him and they will have a two point safety.” #2-“ that is correct Tom, however… it looks like the Panthers are trying to drag Miriam out of the end zone into the field of play.” #1-“ the officials blow this play dead. The Carolina Panthers have just scored a safety.” #2-“The panthers will also get the ball on the free kick.” #1-we will return after a word from our sponsors “.

#1-“And we are back. We have just witnessed one of the weirdest drives in NFL history. Saints quarterback, Marion orange just ran the ball back and scored a safety for the other team.” #2-“ back to receive the kick is um … who is that Tom?” #1-“ I don’t know Jim. I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. I also noticed that his uniform is a little bit too big for his body.“. #1-“ the Saints kick off and uh the unknown panther lets the ball drop, and nobody seems to want to jump on the ball. The ball is blown dead.”  

#1-“ the Panthers will have the ball on their own 37 yard line. Looks like they also have a new quarterback.” #1-“ this is one of the weirdest football games I have announced Tom do you have any idea who that guy is?” #2-“ no but his uniform is way too tight. I don’t see how he can move.”  

#1-“ the unknown, Panthers quarterback, takes the snap and wow! He is immediately dropped by cam Jordan for a huge loss. “ #2-“ if I didn’t know any better Tom, I would say that the quarterback was trying to run the other way, but cam Jordan caught up with him too fast.” #1-“ah it looks like the Panthers are celebrating in that huge 17 yard loss.” #2-“ my sources have confirmed that the new quarterback for the Panthers is the equipment manager, TJ Duncan”.

(both announcers, forget to mute the .microphone, and they are heard chitchat thing in the background). #2-“ oh I get it! I get it. I bet both of them are trying to tank for a high draft pick “. #1-“ well,, if that is the case, the Panthers have a huge two point lead to overcome!”

(both announcers discovered the microphone has never been muted. They are over come by embarrassment, announcer 2 asks announcer 1. if he still has that flask of Jack Daniels in his pocket.). 

#1-“ it is first down and 27 to go from the Panthers 10 yard line” #2-“ Saints call their first time out, .,,, It looks like the coaches in the sideline or walking off the field.” #1-“For whatever reason, the Saints have decided to forfeit this game.”

#2-“ the panther sideline is running after the Saints sidelines they are dragging each other back to the field.” #1-“uh oh!! it looks like fighting has broken out. We will return after this message. Any word from our sponsor?” #2-“ I think we better clarify that we will try to return after these messages any word from our sponsor.”

[mrcompletely11]

wtf?

[ncstatekwi]

[Ornias]

[kungfoodude]

59 minutes ago, Green-Ghost said:

I posted this already in a tread. I just wanted to share with everyone. I apologize in advance if it is not good. This is what a typical game may sound like if both sides attempt to Tank….  I thought we could use a good laugh to a disappointing season.

Announcer one - “we have kick off.” The ball goes into the end zone and will come out at the 20 yard line. Announcer number two - “it looks like the Saints are bringing in a new quarterback”. #2 - #1 “I don’t recognize the quarterback do you, Jim?” #1-“I haven’t seen this person before Tom.” #2-“it looks like their public relations man in a saints uniform.”

#1-“ first down and 10 yards to go from the 20. #2-“ the quarterback is Marion orange, he is the public relations guy for the Saints”. #1-“ Marion, Takes the snap and he’s running…. In the wrong direction.” #2-“ well… he has plenty of room to run and I don’t think he has to worry about any Tackle”. 

#1-“ Marion has made it to his own endzone. All the Panthers need to do is tackle him and they will have a two point safety.” #2-“ that is correct Tom, however… it looks like the Panthers are trying to drag Miriam out of the end zone into the field of play.” #1-“ the officials blow this play dead. The Carolina Panthers have just scored a safety.” #2-“The panthers will also get the ball on the free kick.” #1-we will return after a word from our sponsors “.

#1-“And we are back. We have just witnessed one of the weirdest drives in NFL history. Saints quarterback, Marion orange just ran the ball back and scored a safety for the other team.” #2-“ back to receive the kick is um … who is that Tom?” #1-“ I don’t know Jim. I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. I also noticed that his uniform is a little bit too big for his body.“. #1-“ the Saints kick off and uh the unknown panther lets the ball drop, and nobody seems to want to jump on the ball. The ball is blown dead.”  

#1-“ the Panthers will have the ball on their own 37 yard line. Looks like they also have a new quarterback.” #1-“ this is one of the weirdest football games I have announced Tom do you have any idea who that guy is?” #2-“ no but his uniform is way too tight. I don’t see how he can move.”  

#1-“ the unknown, Panthers quarterback, takes the snap and wow! He is immediately dropped by cam Jordan for a huge loss. “ #2-“ if I didn’t know any better Tom, I would say that the quarterback was trying to run the other way, but cam Jordan caught up with him too fast.” #1-“ah it looks like the Panthers are celebrating in that huge 17 yard loss.” #2-“ my sources have confirmed that the new quarterback for the Panthers is the equipment manager, TJ Duncan”.

(both announcers, forget to mute the .microphone, and they are heard chitchat thing in the background). #2-“ oh I get it! I get it. I bet both of them are trying to tank for a high draft pick “. #1-“ well,, if that is the case, the Panthers have a huge two point lead to overcome!”

(both announcers discovered the microphone has never been muted. They are over come by embarrassment, announcer 2 asks announcer 1. if he still has that flask of Jack Daniels in his pocket.). 

#1-“ it is first down and 27 to go from the Panthers 10 yard line” #2-“ Saints call their first time out, .,,, It looks like the coaches in the sideline or walking off the field.” #1-“For whatever reason, the Saints have decided to forfeit this game.”

#2-“ the panther sideline is running after the Saints sidelines they are dragging each other back to the field.” #1-“uh oh!! it looks like fighting has broken out. We will return after this message. Any word from our sponsor?” #2-“ I think we better clarify that we will try to return after these messages any word from our sponsor.”

Are you smelling burnt toast???

[rayzor]

One of several remaining games that I can't imagine anyone really wanting to watch, much less televise.

 

[KSpan]

So the Saints are tomorrow's opponent... I was not aware.

[Panthers Fan 69]

What’s with the highlighted text. Can you edit and try again?

[Camp Fodder]

22 minutes ago, KSpan said:

So the Saints are tomorrow's opponent... I was not aware.

I know right. I remember a time being pumped up to play a division opponent

[KSpan]

30 minutes ago, Camp Fodder said:

I know right. I remember a time being pumped up to play a division opponent

Or paying more than cursory attention at all, really.

[Brent Gregory]

I remember years ago when I read the Charlotte observer.  They had the who cares game of the week. This definitely meets that criteria.....

[Pejorative Miscreant]

Pie for OP. I absolutely love it!
 

Inspired to make a thread as shiity as the the team we support. Although OP falls well short of that mark, we should heap praise for the effort.  

[TLGPanthersFan]

That physically hurts my eyes. 

[SmokinwithWilly]

Playing the Saints D in FF tomorrow. Seemed like a good idea.