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Panthers if they were cars

Towelboy

By Towelboy,
in Carolina Panthers

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Towelboy Enthusiast

Towelboy

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In today’s “Athletic” article, Joe Person compares Bryce Young to a Toyota because of his reliability. Which led me to think, if he’s a Toyota, what model?

My thoughts:

If Young is a Toyota, he’s a Corolla - entry-level base model with nothing special. Too small, too slow, and average, at best. Sure it’s reliable, but if you’re being honest, it’s basic and will be replaced by something better in a few years. No one actually wants a Corolla - they settle for one. 
 

Why stop there? Is Burns an Escalade - looks nice from the outside but just a base Tahoe? Is Horn a Land Rover - tons of potential but always in the shop? 
 

Keep it going…

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LinvilleGorge Grand Master

LinvilleGorge

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Bryce Young is a Smart car. Tiny, terrible performance measurables, but the owners think they're super innovative and ahead of the curve while everyone else laughs at them.

Except at least a Smart car is capable of going the speed limit. Bryce is a Smart car speed limited at about 35mph and he's out there on I-85 with 18 wheelers flying by at 80.

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BenjaminBreeg Rising Star

BenjaminBreeg

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Towelboy said:

In today’s “Athletic” article, Joe Person compares Bryce Young to a Toyota because of his reliability. Which led me to think, if he’s a Toyota, what model?

My thoughts:

If Young is a Toyota, he’s a Corolla - entry-level base model with nothing special. Too small, too slow, and average, at best. Sure it’s reliable, but if you’re being honest, it’s basic and will be replaced by something better in a few years. No one actually wants a Corolla - they settle for one. 
 

Why stop there? Is Burns an Escalade - looks nice from the outside but just a base Tahoe? Is Horn a Land Rover - tons of potential but always in the shop? 
 

Keep it going…

The article says Bryce is "durable" like a Toyota, not reliable. It was specifically about his ability to take hits, not about his play.

The only aspect of his game that can be characterized as reliable is that he's reliably bad to astonishingly atrocious. So if Bryce were a car, he would be an underpowered sub-compact or micro-car that drives like poo and needs constant repairs but otherwise has a respectable safety rating for its class.

I know of no such car, at least not original from the factory. Perhaps if you install a roll cage in a Yugo, it could be called the Bryce Young of cars.

For the younger folks here, Yugo was a car hailing from the erstwhile Yugoslavia that, despite its sub-compact form factor, was underpowered (55hp @6500rpm) and drove like poo. Adjusted for inflation, price starts at around 10 grand. It has its charms, to be sure, but you certainly wouldn't overpay by emptying your investment portfolio and mortgaging your home to get it. 

1200933087_1988_Yugo_GV_in_Blue_front_left.thumb.jpg.1d739d55ec02e7c91e2ce8d7aa4bb315.jpg

Edited by BenjaminBreeg
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