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The Stench of Burnt Ass

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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Mr. Scot Grand Master

Mr. Scot

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'll copy my rant here - with some added takes - since it seems appropriate...

_______________

So there's a pretty common thread I'm seeing in just about all the reactions to Young and the team in general...

Feelings... specifically, hurt feelings 😕

Also standing behind the vast majority of the hurt feelings...unrealistic expectations.

"I was lied to!"  No, you weren't. You got your own hopes up.

"We already know...."  No, you don't. Two games in, we don't know sh-t yet.

"Same old team!"  No, it isn't. It's a new staff, new schemes , new quarterback, new pretty much everything.

"I'm tired of losing!". And? It was always gonna be tough coming out of the gate.

"We were set up to win!"  No, we weren't. We're starting over at a time when the rest of the division has at least a year head start on us.

Oy 🙄

There's more, but the basic point is the people here throwing childish tantrums are doing so because they did it to themselves, not because the team misled them or any other such stupidity.

So at this point, you can choose to man up, put on your big boy pants and settle into the fact that things aren't going to turn around overnight, or you can continue to wallow in your own silliness and act like a three year old.

Doesn't really make much difference to me, but it likely will you.

Some folks are always gonna panic at the first sign of adversity with the idea that if things eventually do turn out to be as bad as expected they can point backward and say "See?! I was right!" Well, not really. What you actually were was weak. Good thing you weren't going into a real life battle. You'd have earned the call sign "Hangman" like in Maverick.

Others are gonna rush to be the first to scream "everything sucks" because they enjoy the drama and the attention it gets them. As far as that crowd, I'm not really interested in hearing their take. It's boring and generally useless, and I don't engage in football conversation to entertain dimwits and/ or attention whores.

Bottom Line: Taking a position of "wait and see" isn't a popular thing in today's hot take driven sports talk culture, but it's still the smart thing.

Could it really be bad? Sure it could, but anyone claiming they already know it is falls into one of the categories listed above.

Could it also be good?

Regardless of whether you believe it or not, the answer to that is "yes". The "everything sucks" crowd can weep and wail and gnash their teeth if they want to, but I'm not interested. Frankly, kind of disgusted.

My choice, as a veteran of about fifty NFL seasons and every Panther season is...to wait and see how things play out before going off half cocked. I've seen enough early takes be proven dead wrong that I know better than to listen to them.

Talk to me in November.

Edited by Mr. Scot
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DIO84 Enthusiast

DIO84

Posted
Posted
On 9/20/2023 at 8:48 AM, SCP said:

Do you smell that? Can you feel that? No, it’s not the nip of fall in the air nor the smell of soccer mom’s sitting around fire pits burning fake logs they purchased at Teeter while buying an $8 bottle of Cabernet. No, my friends, what you are smelling is ass. The kind of ass that hasn’t been washed in 4 days. The kind of ass that has people side eyeing each other while in line at Aldi’s wondering who sh*t themselves. The kind of stench that you smell when you get into a Saints fan’s 1987 Dodge Caravan where the middle bench seat has more sh*t stains than Matt Ryan game worn pants.

For two and a half seasons we endured unwiped, unshaven and unbleached ass in Matt Rhule. David Tepper, who seems to be better at closing Rock Hill land deals than owning a football team, had his pudgy face buried in them rosy Rhule butt cheeks tossing that rancid salad like a Bucs fan blowing a Tom Brady blow up doll in the rear seat of his PT Cruiser. The amount of booty that has emanated from B of A since Tepper purchased the Panthers would make a pig farmer gag. I don’t think he has made a good football decision, ever. I will give him credit for firing that idiot Marty Hurney and for sh*t canning Matt Rhule, but literally, any moron would’ve made those same decisions, albeit sooner.

But fret not, my fellow Panther fans. We are all idiots for being a fan of this franchise, yet it is the life we have chosen using our free will and lack of the chromosome that gives one cognitive thought and reasoning.

A Hooter’s waitress once told me “You’re fat and should order grilled chicken, not boneless fired wings.” I lean on that advice everyday, it has made me a relatively successful sales man. I have parlayed that advice into life altering decisions, and today I am leaning on that waitress’s advice to tell you that the Panthers will get it going. I feel it in my unwashed asshole. It’s a tingling sensation that is undeniable, and it’s not caused by the Ruby Tuesday induced diarrhea that I suffer from. This team, and our new QB, will click. Sure, our defense has suffered some setbacks with injuries. Yes, Christiansen is out at guard, but I didn’t think he was our long-term guard anyway.

I am here to tell you that we roll into Seattle on Sunday and we punch that Italian QB in his mouth and we turn him over three times. Am I a huge Frank Reich fan? No. As a matter of fact, his press conferences infuriate me and its only week three. But he has surrounded himself with some smart dudes, a potpourri of coaches that should be able to mask the stench of any ass. I feel we can get our run game going and allow Bryce to settle in a bit. I think our front seven will give Gino trouble and that beautiful genius, Ejiro Evero, will scheme us into those aforementioned turnovers. This week is the week we see Bryce get his first win as and NFL QB.

Are the Panthers currently suffering from a serious case of Candida (google that sh*t) of the butthole? Yes. Is Seattle the nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug needed to eliminate that itchy burn? Yes.

 

Panthers 27

Seahwaks 17

I hate everything about this post.

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