Web Humor: Why Our Team Sucks (Panthers edition)

[PanthersATL]

It's supposed to be funny. And not written for us.

Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group

Quote

 

Personally speaking, I’ll never forget Rhule carefully laying out all of his objectives in that Pepsi deck and achieving precisely none of them. I’ll never forget him segregating his roster into guys who are One Of Us and guys who are Coke. I’ll never forget the Panthers keeping him around for one more pricey year before shitcanning him only five weeks in. I’ll never forget the team’s business model of bringing in the most embarrassing QB busts from the last half decade to start, and then having all of them lose a QB competition to P.J. Walker. Priceless memories, each and every one of them. I’ll never forget you, Matt.

OK, I forgot SOME things. Like the Panthers losing to the Browns in Week 1 thanks to a 58-yard game-winner from Cade York. Or Graham Gano beating them the following week with a 56-yarder of his own, in a game where the Giants were booed off the field at the half by their own fans. Or that Baker Mayfield played here, or that he started a game where Carolina built a 10-3 lead and then let the Cardinals rip off 23 unanswered points. Or that the Panthers led the Rams by 10-7 at the half and then never scored again. Or that they turned the ball over three times in the final nine minutes to lose to Ravens. Or that the Rams offered them two first rounders—from where, I have no idea—for DE Brian Burns and they said no. Or that they sent Chosen Anderson back to the locker room early for being a naughty boy, and then cut him. Or that they lost to Mitch Trubisky. Or that they scored on a miracle last-second touchdown to D.J. Moore against the Falcons … only for Moore to get flagged for taking his helmet off, which caused them to miss the ensuing PAT to win. Then they missed ANOTHER easy kick in OT, and lost in overtime.

I forgot all of that. Guilty as charged.

 

https://defector.com/why-your-team-sucks-2023-carolina-panthers 

[Pup McBarky]

All of it's true, but it's not funny. That guy who makes the videos about every team's fans, now that guy is funny.

[ladypanther]

1 minute ago, Pup McBarky said:

All of it's true, but it's not funny

It is sadly funny.

[Pup McBarky]

Just now, ladypanther said:

It is sadly funny.

I find it sad. I don't find it humorous. Different strokes, as they say.

[Daeavorn]

10 minutes ago, Pup McBarky said:

All of it's true, but it's not funny. That guy who makes the videos about every team's fans, now that guy is funny.

Tom Grossi, and yes he is hilarious.

[Sgt Schultz]

40 minutes ago, ladypanther said:

It is sadly funny.

I'm with you. 

When it comes to humor, sometimes you can't improve on what really happened. 

It kind of reminds me of a Friday when I am looking back on the week at work.

What makes it funny is that it is behind us, and somehow we survived.  I feel like Wile E. Coyote surviving the misguided plan involving TNT.

Edited August 4, 2023 by Sgt Schultz

[pantherclaw]

I like my twisted humor.  

That guy said nothing funny. 

[Carl Spackler]

Drew’s stuff like that peaked from 2009-15.

[WUnderhill]

2 hours ago, PanthersATL said:

Personally speaking, I’ll never forget Rhule carefully laying out all of his objectives in that Pepsi deck and achieving precisely none of them. I’ll never forget him segregating his roster into guys who are One Of Us and guys who are Coke. I’ll never forget the Panthers keeping him around for one more pricey year before shitcanning him only five weeks in. I’ll never forget the team’s business model of bringing in the most embarrassing QB busts from the last half decade to start, and then having all of them lose a QB competition to P.J. Walker. Priceless memories, each and every one of them. I’ll never forget you, Matt.

Wdym? This was definitely written for us. I’m always down for some Matt Rhule shade.

[Move the Panthers to Raleigh]

Glad he threw in that line about the Burns trade. The homers will be angry 

[Pejorative Miscreant]

Usually there is a decent laugh or two when this comes out but not this year.  

[cardiackat88.]

I usually repackage my traumatic experiences into humorous stories. 

[TLGPanthersFan]

Never really liked these because it is rarely funny and usually degrades into political rants. 

[shaqattaq]

On 8/4/2023 at 5:16 PM, ladypanther said:

It is sadly funny.

If you found last season funny, I bet you giggle your butt off at SPCA commercials.