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New Coach Thread 2: Electric Boogaloo

Ricky Spanish

By Ricky Spanish,
in Carolina Panthers

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Ricky Spanish Grand Master

Ricky Spanish

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As things Currently stand, we have interviewed the following:

  • Steve Wilks
  • Jim Caldwell
  • Frank Reich
  • Sean Payton
  • Shane Steichen
  • Ken Dorsey
  • Mike Kafka
  • Ejiro Evero
  • Kellen Moore

The following have spurned us and we are now big mad at them:

  • Ben Johnson
  • Demeco Ryans
  • Jerrod Mayo

We have requested interviews with the following but they have not happened yet:

  • Kellen Moore (Scheduled Tuesday)

A Summary of the first thread:

  • Fit said it would be a small pool of candidates*
    • *It was not a small pool of candidates
  • Wilks interviewed and no one knows for sure who he would hire as OC but Holcomb would stay as DC
  • We requested interviews from damn near everyone with a pulse who is a young up and coming OC
  • Ben Johnson, local hero, decided Detroit is better and will stay with the lions next year
    • Fanbase had a collected sad about this and now Ben Johnson sucks.
  • Harbaugh used us to get more money from Michigan
    • rippadon is big mad. Loves Harbaugh almost as much as Carson Strong
  • Wildcard Weekend happens
    • Stock up: Kafka, Ryans, Moore
    • Stock Down: Dorsey
    • No Change: Wilks, Reich, Caldwell
  • Sean Payton has entered the chat
    • Fanbase divided. Lines in sand are drawn. Buttholes across the fanbase pucker to the same shape as the one on Payton's face.
    • Speculation about speculating speculators regarding us hiring him.
    • We would have to give up more draft capital to get him than any other team since we are within the division
  • We interviewed some seasoned candidates like Vic Fangio to be the DC in the event we hire a young OC to be the next HC
    • Fanbase is collectively OK with this.
  • Tragic death of Anton Walkes of Charlotte FC temporarily pauses the search over the weekend
    • Props are given to Tepper for doing the right thing
  • Division Weekend happens
    • Stock up: Steichen, Ryans, Payton
    • Stock Down: Moore, Dorsey, Kafka
    • No change: Wilks, Caldwell, Reich
  • Broncos seem to really want Payton too. Payton is weighing his options between all available openings because he can.
  • Round two of interviews would happen next week.

 

A shorter summary of the search:

investigation we aint found shit GIF

 

Link to the last thread:

 

Please keep the discussions about the potential coaches, hirings, rumblings, stumblings, and bumblings.

Tweet Explaining the timeline of what can happen next:

 

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  • Beer 14
  • Flames 11
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jayboogieman Grand Master

jayboogieman

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Ricky Spanish said:

As things Currently stand, we have interviewed the following:

  • Steve Wilks
  • Jim Caldwell
  • Frank Reich
  • Sean Payton
  • Shane Steichen
  • Ken Dorsey
  • Mike Kafka
  • Ejiro Evero

The following have spurned us and we are now big mad at them:

  • Ben Johnson
  • Demeco Ryans
  • Jerrod Mayo

We have requested interviews with the following but they have not happened yet:

  • Kellen Moore (Scheduled Tuesday)

A Summary of the first thread:

  • Fit said it would be a small pool of candidates*
    • *It was not a small pool of candidates
  • Wilks interviewed first and no one knows for sure who he would hire as OC but Holcomb would stay as DC
  • We requested interviews from damn near everyone with a pulse who is a young up and coming OC
  • Ben Johnson, local hero, decided Detroit is better and will stay with the lions next year
    • Fanbase had a collected sad about this and now Ben Johnson sucks.
  • Harbaugh used us to get more money from Michigan
    • rippadon is big mad. Loves Harbaugh almost as much as Carson Strong
  • Wildcard Weekend happens
    • Stock up: Kafka, Ryans, Moore
    • Stock Down: Dorsey
    • No Change: Wilks, Reich, Caldwell
  • Sean Payton has entered the chat
    • Fanbase divided. Lines in sand are drawn. Buttholes across the fanbase pucker to the same shape as the one on Payton's face.
    • Speculation about speculating speculators regarding us hiring him.
    • We would have to give up more draft capital to get him than any other team since we are within the division
  • We interviewed some seasoned candidates like Vic Fangio to be the DC in the event we hire a young OC to be the next HC
    • Fanbase is collectively OK with this.
  • Tragic death of Anton Walkes of Charlotte FC temporarily pauses the search over the weekend
    • Props are given to Tepper for doing the right thing
  • Division Weekend happens
    • Stock up: Steichen, Ryans, Payton
    • Stock Down: Moore, Dorsey, Kafka
  • No change: Wilks, Caldwell, Reich
  • Broncos seem to really want Payton too. Payton is weighing his options between all available openings because he can.
  • Round two of interviews would happen next week.

 

A shorter summary of the search:

investigation we aint found shit GIF

 

Link to the last thread:

 

Please keep the discussions about the potential coaches, hirings, rumblings, stumblings, and bumblings.

 

Star Trek Applause GIF

13 minutes ago, Ricky Spanish said:

Buttholes across the fanbase pucker to the same shape as the one on Payton's face.

the fifth element GIF

  • Beer 1
  • Flames 1
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