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Web Humor: Why Our Team Sucks (Panthers edition)

PanthersATL

By PanthersATL,
in Carolina Panthers

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PanthersATL Grand Master

PanthersATL

Posted
Posted

It's supposed to be funny. And not written for us.

Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group

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Personally speaking, I’ll never forget Rhule carefully laying out all of his objectives in that Pepsi deck and achieving precisely none of them. I’ll never forget him segregating his roster into guys who are One Of Us and guys who are Coke. I’ll never forget the Panthers keeping him around for one more pricey year before shitcanning him only five weeks in. I’ll never forget the team’s business model of bringing in the most embarrassing QB busts from the last half decade to start, and then having all of them lose a QB competition to P.J. Walker. Priceless memories, each and every one of them. I’ll never forget you, Matt.

OK, I forgot SOME things. Like the Panthers losing to the Browns in Week 1 thanks to a 58-yard game-winner from Cade York. Or Graham Gano beating them the following week with a 56-yarder of his own, in a game where the Giants were booed off the field at the half by their own fans. Or that Baker Mayfield played here, or that he started a game where Carolina built a 10-3 lead and then let the Cardinals rip off 23 unanswered points. Or that the Panthers led the Rams by 10-7 at the half and then never scored again. Or that they turned the ball over three times in the final nine minutes to lose to Ravens. Or that the Rams offered them two first rounders—from where, I have no idea—for DE Brian Burns and they said no. Or that they sent Chosen Anderson back to the locker room early for being a naughty boy, and then cut him. Or that they lost to Mitch Trubisky. Or that they scored on a miracle last-second touchdown to D.J. Moore against the Falcons … only for Moore to get flagged for taking his helmet off, which caused them to miss the ensuing PAT to win. Then they missed ANOTHER easy kick in OT, and lost in overtime.

I forgot all of that. Guilty as charged.

 



https://defector.com/why-your-team-sucks-2023-carolina-panthers 

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Sgt Schultz Grand Master

Sgt Schultz

Posted
Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, ladypanther said:

It is sadly funny.

I'm with you. 

When it comes to humor, sometimes you can't improve on what really happened. 

It kind of reminds me of a Friday when I am looking back on the week at work.

What makes it funny is that it is behind us, and somehow we survived.  I feel like Wile E. Coyote surviving the misguided plan involving TNT.

Edited by Sgt Schultz
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WUnderhill Grand Master

WUnderhill

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, PanthersATL said:

Personally speaking, I’ll never forget Rhule carefully laying out all of his objectives in that Pepsi deck and achieving precisely none of them. I’ll never forget him segregating his roster into guys who are One Of Us and guys who are Coke. I’ll never forget the Panthers keeping him around for one more pricey year before shitcanning him only five weeks in. I’ll never forget the team’s business model of bringing in the most embarrassing QB busts from the last half decade to start, and then having all of them lose a QB competition to P.J. Walker. Priceless memories, each and every one of them. I’ll never forget you, Matt.

Wdym? This was definitely written for us. I’m always down for some Matt Rhule shade.

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