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Oops. Sorry for the double post. I have been trying to finish this amid honey-do this and that for the last couple of hours. -
First, let me say that some people aren't going to like this. Not because they don't enjoy reading a tongue-in-cheek article based on hints of truth, but because at times, this seems like a more mean-spirited version. It also has an error regarding Tetairoa McMillan's 40 time at the NFL Combine, and the writer also somehow thinks that throwing in a standalone sentence that references Dave Canales and his past struggle with porn addiction is funny. Deadspin went through it's trials and tribulations, and many key people started and went to Defector. Defector is supposed to be an improvement, but I don't know that it is based upon this...satire? The following are snippets. On the team in general: If it still seems impossible to you that this team won five games, well, you're onto something. That mildly respectable 4-5 finish to the season only looks worse the longer you stare at it: They eked out back-to-back wins against the putrid Saints and Giants by a combined four points, and then needed overtime and a heroic Chuba Hubbard performance to beat the Cardinals. The final win of the season, Week 18's 44-38 overtime victory against a Falcons team that was trying to make the playoffs, can be counted as legitimately impressive for as long as it takes you to remember that the Falcons will always be frauds. On Dave Canales: "Canales, meanwhile, has an alarming amount of swagger for a guy who was a few fluky late-season wins away from presiding over the worst team in the league. "The sky's the limit for this group," Canales said at the start of training camp. "This is going to be a very competitive team. I don't think people are going to want to play us by the style of football that we play. I'm expecting that." OK pal, take it easy." "The story those quotes come from is a fun read, due to how hard it strains to recast a season that was 90 percent disaster as some kind of meaningful step forward. Benching Young after Week 2, an obvious panic move that was almost certainly undertaken at Tepper's direction, is retrofitted to be "a gutsy move that defines Canales." Who needs winning seasons or division titles when you can put "Benched my QB in Week 2 and then put him back in the lineup because the other guy got injured" under the Gutsy Moves That Define Me section of a résumé. This man will have a job for life. I'm expecting that." On Bryce: "Young is entering his third season as the Panthers' starting quarterback, which is about the time you expect a guy who was drafted No. 1 overall to start demonstrating that he's capable of being the franchise savior he was selected to be. Young has 28 career starts under his belt, and it's pretty hard to find anything from those games indicating that he's going to avoid being a bust. He's thrown for more than 300 yards in a game just once, and tossed more than two TDs in a game twice. He's started 11 games in which his completion percentage was below 60 percent, and he's had 17 starts in which he couldn't crack 200 yards through the air. Beyond all that, he looks like he doesn't belong on the field. His base state is panic, he can't throw the ball downfield or to the sidelines, and he can barely hold his head upright under the weight of his helmet." On David Tepper: "David Tepper hasn't even been here for a decade and he's already threatening to go down as one of the worst owners in league history. A fanbase fully souring on an owner usually takes some time—there's a few seasons constituting a honeymoon period, then a period of excuse-making, and then the feeling starts to shift once the losing seasons and annoying quotes pile up. Tepper is an argument against the idea that familiarity breeds contempt; sometimes all you need is one look at a guy before deciding that you'd like to punch him in the face." There's some truth here, and I'm sure that to the Negative Nancys the portrayal is spot on, but remember that this is ostensibly coming from a satirical perspective. The "truth" hurts though, and hopefully, like every season, there's still plenty of hope and optimism. At the end of the day, we just don't know how the m infusion of acquisitions and young players is going to work out.
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"Beyond all that, he looks like he doesn't belong on the field. His base state is panic, he can't throw the ball downfield or to the sidelines, and he can barely hold his head upright under the weight of his helmet." Lmaooo
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